Thoughts on . . . TIME

I have been thinking about time lately...

I have been thinking about time lately. I had a semi-realization in my journal and then it hit me like a lightbulb moment or crack of lightning days later when I scrolled back over to read it.

Here it is... time is limited, so just DO IT.

I imagine there are many arguments to this statement, like from those who believe time is eternal and/or when we pass our souls simply move into another realm or life. For the purpose of this lightbulb moment, I am going with the idea that we have limited time on this earth and in this current body and life we inhabit. And it is not meant to come from a scarcity mindset - to make you feel like “OH SHIT, I better but that boat and have that kid ASAP because I am running out of time” and now you are full on panicking and having an existential crisis. No, no. It’s meant to come from a realistic place, one that acknowledges, “Yes, I have twenty-four hours in a day. Not more, not less. By definition, time is limited to twenty-four hours a day and if I am lucky, this clock will restart tomorrow”. When you come to true terms with this, you can understand how the small stuff adds up, the stuff that feels big and bad may not matter as much, and that you are FULLY in control of the life you live in those twenty-four hours. That sounds dramatic…let me explain:

The small things.

This realization about time is a catalyst for good. It is a forcing function to push me to realize that the small moments in a day - my brisk morning walk where I petted the neighbor’s dog; my flirty interaction with a stranger; seeing a beautiful sunny skyline; getting a coupon in my e-mail; helping a stranger carry her bags to her car; my moment of clarity and inspiration that sparked me to pen an article - those ADD UP. Individually, they may feel small, perhaps even insignificant in the moment. But! the addition of them throughout the day weaves the fabric of the day and eventually my life. So I might as well make that weave as damn colorful, sparkly, and fucking fun as I can.

the big things

Realizing you only have twenty-four hours in a day means that we ONLY have twenty-four hours in a day. I ONLY get this shot at life that I am living now, so if I want to make it what I want, perhaps I will not let the big and bad bring me down as much. That change of job in my 20s that left me feeling incompetent and unaligned, for example, was just a redirection to something better. If I believed then what I believe now about TIME, I might’ve realized that sooner. The health scare that hits the family - a sign to spend more of those twenty-four hours with them and to pray that they continue to have their twenty-four hour clock restart every day. The unexpected tumultuous and messy divorce - a painful experience for all involved yet a sign that a different life was meant to be lived in each of our twenty-four hours.

When I realize, “I only get twenty-four hours each day”, it makes me hella re-prioritize what is important, roll with the punches (a lifelong lesson and practice…), and just DO the things that I am putting off. Which I guess is a good transition into the last point…

Fully in Control

I am fully in control of those twenty-four hours. I have the POWER of CHOICE to look at the small moments and roll my eyes and I can CHOOSE to let the big scary ones rip me apart. Which, to be fair, sometimes we need a good ripping apart to start again. One of my favorite quotes is “you cannot create yourself until you uncreate yourself”. The idea of burning elements of myself to the ground to rise from the ashes has always felt like home to me. That is clearly my dramatic Scorpio talking.

The point here is, is the POWER OF CHOICE. I HAVE THE POWER OF CHOICE in choosing how I am going to live each day. Damn. That’s powerful.

For me, this takes the pressure off (not always, but I am working on it…I am a WIP, just like this writing habit of mine) that if I have fucked something up (whether I perceive that or it is true), that I can start A G A I N. The next day is a clean slate! I can learn from my missteps and change my course and apply my newfound knowledge ASAP. What a damn relief that I do not need to keep spinning my wheels doing the same damn thing over again hoping for a different outcome. Is that not insanity?

This also helps me see the good in the bad situations. I can choose to sulk and cry (there’s actually always time and place for a quick cry) and then choose to move forward and not STAY there.

You are able to create the life you want. And I know there are limitations to this depending on your situation (I am thinking of those trapped in an unsafe home life, for example), but what each of us carry with us every day is the power to choose what we believe. The stoic philosophers said something like, “they can take my body, enslave me, beat me, but they do not have control over my mind and what I think and for that I will always be free”.

What a powerful mindset.

So anyways, here’s to TIME. And the fact that we only get a certain amount of it. May it help us appreciate the small, not sweat the big and put us in the driver seat of our days.

We deserve it.