thoughts on courage

bravery. by definition, ‘brave’ means, “ready to face & endure danger or pain; showing courage”.

hmm.

maybe I’m using the wrong word because “ready to face and endure danger” feels a lil dramatic…

It’s a matter of semantics, but it is important…

by definition, ‘courage’ is, “ the ability to do something that frightens one” or “strength in the face of pain or grief”.

how moving. beautiful. inspiring. To do something that scares you. To practice strength in the face of PAIN. Literally fighting against our natural tendencies to keep ourselves safe. The Decision Lab wrote up a fab piece on this exact tendency - The Mere Exposure Effect or the Familiarity Principle. They say, “the mere exposure effect describes our tendency to develop preferences for things simply because we are familiar with them”.

The article says there are two reasons we experience this effect,
1) “It reduces uncertainty. We are less uncertain about something when we are familiar with it. We are programmed by evolution to be careful around new things because they could pose a danger to us. As we see something repeatedly without noticing bad consequences, we are led to believe it is safe.

2)It makes understanding and interpreting easier. In what’s known as “perceptual fluency,” we are better able to understand and interpret things we have already seen before.”

Our minds and bodies want us to be in the familiar - even if it is unhealthy for us - because it is a known quantity.

GOSH, how does that resonate.

I’m sure everyone can think of a time they have kept a habit, stayed somewhere or with someone because it was the known quantity. Afraid of what was on the other side of the wall of unknown so even if your current reality was underwhelming, it was potentially better than what might be on the other side of that mysterious wall…

So how amazing is it to go against the grain of our OWN cells and to do something even if it frightens us?

I admire my Dad’s life for this reason, especially in his 30’s. He left what he knew ( a family home on a spacious farm/land in a place that was largely safe [this was pre-war of independence in the 90s] in Croatia) to meet his sister in America where he didn’t really speak the language, didn’t have a job lined up or a typical “American” education to flaunt. It is courageous to grow up in a completely different way, in completely different surroundings, with a different language, customs and preferences…and to uproot and reinvent (or rediscover or further deepen understanding of) self. He didn’t let us forget it either - stories about walking miles to school, getting oranges as a treat for Christmas, and how the food is better in Croatia (he’s onto something with that one, though…but that’s an article for another day). My Mom told me once that I got my affinity for moving around / traveling from my Dad. At the time, she said it with exasperation, and now I take that as the highest compliment.

If I can practice and exhibit the resilience and courage it takes to uproot oneself as he did…that is goals. If I can embody the idea of appreciating change for all it has to offer, “good” and “bad” (although we know there is no such thing, as things just “are”)…

If I can love, unattached.

If I can live and speak boldly.

If I can seek to understand, without judgment.

If I can take what I do seriously, but not take myself so seriously.

then that’s courage.

A beautiful shop that I love in Tulum, Mexico recently posted on their Instagram and their caption included some fine words that poured slowly into my brain like a syrupy dessert wine - so much so that I needed to read it a few times. You know when something just hits? Here’s some of what they said, “Sometimes we feel our museum [referencing their store] to be much like life. It is always in continuous flux where everything is constantly changing and moving, nothing is static. Like us, our home is always in the making and never made”.

Oh even if it is exciting to you, how COURAGEOUS of you to find the MAGIC in the fact that nothing is static.

There’s no real “point” to this article. Just a few observations and reflections…what do you take from it?

If you’re a journaler like me and appreciate some prompts, peep the few below:

What does courage mean to you?

When have you felt courageous?

How do you practice courage?