The Power of Community
let's talk about the power of people, baby!!
The power of community. Something I didn’t fully understand until my 30s, if I’m being honest. Side note…GOD, I love my 30s – this decade is already so beautifully badass. Anyways, I have 3 reasons why community is critical and why it is so powerful. Also, science said it first – having a community is good for you. According to Neuroscience News, “Researchers report people aged 50 and over who participate in social activity through a community based group appear to have better cognitive function than their less social peers.”. Damn – so your brain will work better over time if you engage socially with a community…fuckin’ sign me up. #TeamLiveForever
So what are these 3 lessons/reasons, you ask?
1) MENTORSHIP/GUIDANCE
While we all have our own paths that’ll look different (as they SHOULD), there are people who have navigated similar paths or simply have advice you can benefit from. When we welcome learning from others, it is the equivalent of getting one of those rainbow stars in Mario Cart. You know, the ones that gave you special powers or made you go turbo speed? Instead of just powering in your own lane always alone with no guidance, being open to learning from others turbocharges what you’re trying to do. I also think it’s a beautiful practice to have multiple mentors because everyone has different strengths and perspectives. You’ll unlikely find one person with all the traits and qualities you want to learn from, so be okay with having multiple people to inspire you.
How do you find a mentor? Get clear on what you are wanting guidance on and find people who are doing that/have done that, that you look up to or admire for whatever reason. Let’s say I’m trying to be a more bold, more courageous communicator (I am, actually), so I’ll live life with the lens of “who is someone I admire that is good at bold and courageous communication?”. At work, at the gym, on social media, in my friend group, etc, I’ll keep my feelers out for those that inspire me in that way. When I find them, I’ll strike up a conversation or send an introductory note.
Bottom line: you do not need to do it all alone – seek guidance from those that you admire.
2) THE RIGHT PEOPLE MAKE THINGS EASIER
I had this a-ha moment lately: that IT IS POSSIBLE for people I’m in a relationship with (personal, platonic, work, etc) to make things easier for me. I CAN lead my full independent life AND not feel like I need to give up anything or lower my expectations to maintain the relationship I’m a part of. This same idea applies to community at large in so many ways.
When you find a like-valued community, they’ll likely, whether directly or indirectly, make your work easier. Let me share an example…I have a friend who is putting himself out in the world in a new way to network with people who can benefit from the treatments he provides. He shared with me that a particular community networking event he went to felt so natural and enjoyable that everything flowed – it didn’t feel like work. That everyone he met was genuinely interested in him, his work, and many of his conversations resulted in an active brainstorming of how they can all work together to achieve their separate goals, TOGETHER. And he left with a few prospective new clients!! Great success (+10 points if you read that in a Borat voice). This sounded like SUCH a beautiful experience and a great example of how a community can help make things easier and more fun. If he didn’t network and put himself out there at that event, he might not have made those connections to get his treatment to more people.
Bottom line: You likely have big dreams. You don’t have to do it all alone – connect with the right people and they’ll help you get where you need to go.
3) YOU DESERVE TO BE CELEBRATED AND TO CELEBRATE OTHERS
While you are an awesome, independent badass who can celebrate every win solo and have that be meaningful, you DESERVE to be celebrated by others! A big lesson I learned in recent years is that people WANT to celebrate and support you…SO LET THEM. When you have people supporting your efforts and celebrating your joys alongside you, it makes the journey so sweet. This could look like your parents, friends, colleagues, your writing class group, etc. While you do not need validation to pursue your dreams, it is NICE to be celebrated along the way. And If people want to do that for you, please let them. You deserve it.
Bottom line: You don’t have to celebrate ALONE – allow yourself to be celebrated by those that care for you!
Some closing thoughts…
I’ve harped a lot that you don’t need to do life alone and that there is power in community. I do want to preface that this is different from spending time with yourself and getting to know and love yourself. Please make sure you do that. You will be more likely to attract the right people into your life if you know yourself, what you want, who you are, how you like to be loved and recognized, etc.
Also(!), I feel called to mention that you are not a burden. So many people (a version of me included!) I have known throughout life have once had the mindset that they don’t want to ask for help because they don’t want to inconvenience someone, draw attention to themselves, that they don’t belong at the “table”, whatever the reason may be. Now if multiple people are telling you that you are a burden maybe some self-reflection is necessary TBH, but it’s likely a story you’re telling yourself.
So at the end of the day, you’ve got to remember that you deserve help, love, support, celebration, and community in life. If you’re a podcast fan, I really enjoy The Doctor’s Farmacy podcast hosted by Mark Hyman and this recent episode on how relationships can impact our health and longevity. #TeamLiveForever. Here’s a link to the podcast, notes, and write-up.
Until next time, happy noodling on the power of community.
p.s. if you feel lonely, like you lack community or want to sharpen yours in some way, reach out to me! Happy to chat because 1) you are not alone 2) a great way to build community is talking about/sharing the things you need, so this lil chat would be great practice 😊
here for you. I believe in you!!! xoxoxo